I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
