WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
