sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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