That's when you crack a 10am beer
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
