Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's blow job season.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
