So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
