And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
