I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
