The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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