So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
