Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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