I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
