Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
