R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
