Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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