So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Let's get the cat blown out
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
