I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
