We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
