Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
