So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
