i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
