dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
