we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
