So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
