so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
