When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
