Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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