yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He? As in you personified your dick?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
