and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
