Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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