I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
