Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
