its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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