Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
