So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
