What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
