spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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