His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
