Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
