its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
