Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
