what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
