So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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