drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
