Is it normal to miss your booty call?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
