My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
