OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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