Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
