It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was confusing and full of hummus
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
