i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
