it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize