The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize