office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
