If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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